Life Happens

Hey Love Bugs!  How are you all doing?  Whatcha’ been up to?

I know it’s been a minute. Please pardon my absence, life has been lifing!! Can I be transparent with you guys right now?

I have had some stuff happening in my life recently; like a year’s worth in only a few months. So let’s dig in just a tad shall we? My youngest auditioned for American Idol last November (first episode airs 2/27 at 8/7 central on ABC)! Check out the picture of us trying to be cool

I am witnessing my oldest step into adulthood with morality, grace, and maturity (no posting of pictures by request ). I’ve become fiercely unapologetic with my boundaries and no longer feel uncomfortable speaking up for myself. I know…I’m in my mid forties and I’m just now getting to this point. I used to be so annoyed with being considered a late bloomer by society’s standards. I am happy to report that I’m right on track. I’ve always told my children that life is not a race. We move along our own paths.

Life has a way of sticking out it’s size 24 shoe and tripping you up. When that happens, we have to reassess, revise, and move forward. Failures are opportunities for growth.

Talk about minding your own business moving with a nice little pace, then trip, and face plant on the ground! Going forward, my title of Mrs. is now Ms.

While it’s liberating and truly feel I made the right decision, it’s also disheartening. The experience of a failed marriage has caused me to look closely at myself. That was not a fun experience by the way. To honestly look at yourself and confront yourself is the first step in accountability. I noticed patterns of lack of communication during the honeymoon phase and enforcing boundaries. Also, what I needed and wanted 5 years ago have changed. I accept that we are all very different, but there’s an issue if you are content with the same aspirations you had 5-10 years ago. For instance, a romantic dinner where greasy seafood that is served in a plastic bag is not cute anymore. I’m more of dinner reservations where a strict dress code is required type of woman now. 

As humans we are continually evolving. We have our own journey of life to crawl, walk, stumble, and run through. Yeah it’s easier to point your finger at someone else, but how can you grow without serious self-reflection?

I admire and applaud couples who have sincere longevity. By sincere longevity I mean two people who truly want to be with each other and individually take the necessary actions to cultivate and lovingly maintain a successful healthy partnership.

Any relationship is hard work that requires two people putting in 100% equally. Counseling and communication can help if done properly. Of course, it takes more than counseling and communication to achieve a successful partnership. It’s the little things done daily to show your partner that you love and appreciate them that is a must. Not out of obligation, but out of mature love and genuineness.  Note: Mature love = not expecting the “favor” to be returned

So, what’s next? That’s the million-dollar question. Put simply, I plan to focus solely on myself. It’s time I unapologetically love on myself, start, and maintain a healthy lifestyle (as I eat this bag of chips), read more books, gain new experiences, travel, and so much more. I get to live my life the way I want. My children are young adults now, I’m newly single, and I’m still cute!! 

The first order of business is to work on bettering my consistency. I have spurts of motivation and focus and then slumps. You don’t know how many times I sat down to write and I allowed myself to get distracted. The struggle ya’ll! I remind myself that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!  Philippians 4:13

I have a calm excitement for what’s to come this year. I’m excited for this new chapter of my life, I’m expecting abundance in everything I touch, I am looking forward to stepping into a higher version of myself with a renewed mindset. Onwards and Upwards!

Life is unpredictable. Life is beautiful. Life is a human experience. Positive thoughts turn into positive action.  

Be good my loves!

~Absolutely Shell