It’s Not You,It’s Them…..

Hey love bugs! How ya’ll feelin’? Ya’ll alright?

The holidays are here! For some of us it’s the most social action we’ve had all year. Whether it’s traveling to spend the holidays with family, holiday parties at work, gift exchange parties or shopping in these pandemonium streets; mouth breathers are out in full force leaving repugnant trails of word vomit everywhere it seems.  

We’ve all experienced people speaking out of turn and minding everybody else’s business but their own. What most people don’t seem to grasp is that there are consequences to bad behavior. Whether it’s getting served a supersized portion of the disrespect they so deserve OR the “Knuck if You Buck” approach. Folks are already on edge and patience has taken an extended vacation. There’s a fine line between healthy feedback (if asked) and unwarranted comments and criticism. Humans from all walks of life continue to be reckless with their tongue, causing unnecessary chaos. There’s truth to the saying, “If you have nothing good to say, then say nothing at all”. I can’t begin to tell you how hard I used to be on myself simply because of what others said to me or about me. When I finally realized that it had nothing to do with me, I gained a peaceful level of “unbotheredness”

The Path To “Unbotheredness

People love to dress up their insecurities, intimidation, and jealousy in backhanded comments or compliments. My preferred counter defense is to ask probing questions regarding their choice of words…you know for clarification. Life is too short and too precious to just go along with the program. I’m not saying to go slap off and cuss them out. Not everyone is going to like you, approve of your lifestyle or think you’re cute. That’s for them to worry about. Be unapologetic about yourself and live your life on your terms. You are an exquisite gift and wonderfully made. Stay in your lane and let the rest fall into place.

Mic Check: Not everything that comes to your mind needs to be said. Honestly, I have this conversation with myself daily…I’m a work in progress ya’ll!

In the famous words of Tabitha Brown“If you can’t have a good day, don’t you dare go messing up nobody else’s!”


  • Keep your self-care regimen up to date; take time out for yourself even if for only a few minutes to keep yourself on track.
    • People will try your last nerve and some days they may succeed. Don’t sweat it if that happens, be mindful to do better the next time or the next time after that. Remember to pay attention to what your mind & body need.
  • Learn a new skill or hobby or take a free online course in whatever inspires you.
    • Focus on you and your goals. Healthy distractions like this gives me a boost to keep pushing during these uncertain times.
  • Add meditation to your daily routine.
    • You gotta stay centered to move in this world or else it will overwhelm you. Create a personal mantra like, “I’m too blessed to be stressed” or “Ain’t nobody got time for this” or whatever moves you in the moment.   

2022 will be out of here in a few weeks and I have never been more excited for a year to hurry up and get gone. Although this year is not one that I would smile fondly upon; I am thankful for the lessons, opportunities, and enlightenment.

Be gentle with yourself during these final weeks. Some say that now is the time to reflect. But sometimes reflection is the last thing you want to do. I personally don’t subscribe to jumping on the “self-reflection” band wagon because of what society is doing at the moment. Some of us are still catching our breaths from getting our asses kicked this year. Rest is what we should be doing right now. Bears still hibernate right?

It’s more than ok to just be in the moment taking time out for yourself and loved ones. 

Until next time ❤️

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